I feel like I have expended so much energy lately just living. Sometimes it's hard. I keep looking beyond myself to find reasons for feelings that have no rationale. I keep thinking that if I can solve the puzzle (of life?), I will win some reward or gain some satisfaction.
Sometimes I just want to drive off, just to see where I would go. Maybe I would understand myself a little more. I feel like I am caught in a strange place in time, at the wrong age, watching things become less than what I expected. I feel like I haven't done half a lifetimes worth of learning and adventuring. On top of everything, this is a loss too. How many other people are feeling this way?