This morning I woke up with a great deal of anxiety. Some days are like that, no explanation except past trauma sneaking up on me. I will tell you a secret though, I opened my eyes so wide last night that the lens captured billions of stars, and it was beautiful. Maybe for everything that goes off, there is something out there to make up for it. Although, I don't really believe my anxiety this morning was some kind of balance in the universe because I felt so happy looking at the stars, but it's a thought.
I think really I just haven't learned to live properly. I don't understand the people around me. I question what my purpose could be when I sometimes feel like I am some kind of mutation born from the human race. Why is it so hard for us to live without hurting each other all the time? The way I make it through is, well, there are a lot of tricks, but knowing that my soul is on a journey. Knowing that and knowing myself, I can only believe the journey is to a better me.
I'm sure I have known at some point, I'm sure I came here for a reason. I don't want to merely be an observer of our cruelty, but a witness to our love and compassion for one another. Which one is greater at this moment?