Life on hold

I keep feeling that for the last four years or so, my life has just been on hold. My mother died in 2018, my grandmother in 2019, and then the pandemic struck. So many things have happened and changed, yet I feel as though I have remained stagnant. I am desperate for something new, but feel absolutely no desire to try to figure out what that is anymore. It's like those four years were a vacuum that has sucked away the cravings and the yearnings and the longings.

Some days I truly feel there is no meaning at all, except that I am an animal and it's in my nature to keep going. I know that contentment has been my friend, and likely will be again in the future. I keep wondering what you are thinking dear reader? Do you feel the weight of the years pressing down?