It seems like things are going back to their everyday routine, but I fear that's only going to lead to the same cycle repeating itself. Sometimes I am afraid that I don't really know how to live. I know, you're seeing a theme, so am I. I wonder how many people feel as lost as I do? Time keeps moving forward, everything is getting older, but it frightens me. I feel like I am forgetting something that I was suppose to do while I am here.
When you are halfway through life, you start to question what you could have done or should have done. I never heard my calling, or maybe I just wasn't capable of answering it. I find things that I like, but they are fewer than ever. I find people that I like, but they are always drifting from me. I am in an ocean trying to hold all of this together, but part of me just wants to jump off that boat and see if it falls apart, to see if I drown or swim, to see if I can navigate the sea without aid.